Doubt and Unbelief
“And the Lord said to Moses, ‘How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them?” Numbers 14:11
The very first time you experience true faith is when you realize who Jesus is and give yourself to Him just as you are, but that is just the beginning. Paul warns us in 1 Corinthians 3 that it matters what we build upon the foundation of our faith, which is Christ. Yes, we might be saved, but it might be only through fire.
The Book of Numbers also reveals that how we live matters. God brought Israel out of Egypt promising them a land flowing with milk and honey, but the first generation died in the wilderness only seeing that land from afar because they responded to the difficulties they faced along the way with doubt and unbelief.
After I became a believer, I felt like nothing could stop me. My heart was on fire for the Lord. The only thing that mattered to me was Jesus. Most of us start out this way, don’t we? But we must realize soon after the miracle of new life in Christ that keeping the faith through the testings and challenges of this wilderness life is a different level. In the end, what matters most is who we believe. Do we believe the Joshuas and Calebs, who acknowledge the giants but remind us that “the Lord is with us, do not fear them"? Or do we believe the other voices who completely ignore the Lord and what He has promised in His Word, only seeing the obstacles? You can see how the Israelites responded to Joshua and Caleb - Israel wanted to stone them because they responded with faith and encouragement! And that’s when the Glory of the Lord appeared and the Lord asked Moses, “How long?”
Ever since studying Numbers 13 and 14, I have faced situations where I have been greatly tempted to respond with doubt and unbelief. In my doubt, my dear Savior’s words whisper in my ear, “How long, Eszti, will you despise me? How long will you not believe in me despite all the things I have done for you?”
These questions echo in my mind when I am tempted to doubt the big decisions of life and the very small ones too. I catch myself grumbling about food, clothing, or the place we live just like the Israelites grumbling about everything along the way in the wilderness, despite all the great signs the Lord showed among them. It is no surprise that when Israel got to the promised land, the only thing they saw were the obstacles, and their life ended at Kadesh, the place of faithlessness.
Do not despise the day of small things. How we live our lives in the now matters, and the only cure for the moment of doubt and unbelief is to look to the One whose promises are true and trustworthy. We are to follow the response of Joshua and Caleb, “Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not fear the people of the land, for they are bread for us. Their protection is removed from them, and the Lord is with us; do not fear them.” – Numbers 14:9