The Waves
‘Neither know we what to do,’ said Jehoshaphat ,’ but our eyes are on upon thee’ ~ 2 Chronicles 20:12
There are a handful of you who have followed our journey very closely as the Lord has been preparing us for Hungary, so you’ve heard me talk about the many ways God has gone before us, even the many struggles when I couldn’t see Him. Ultimately, this is not our story this is His story and we are delighted to be part of it and if you signed up to be on our newsletter you are in it with us. My desire is to give you a chance to get a closer look as to what is happening with us day in and day out.
I am a big fan of biographies and testimonies, especially the ones that talk about waves - the waves that throws believers against the Rock of Ages. These stories encourage me to see the purpose of the waves instead of how big and scary they are.
As many of you know while we were in Seminary we sensed that the Lord was calling us to go to Hungary. We had no idea how we would be able to do that but taking a trip to Hungary in our third year (2021) led us to talk to one of Joel’s professors, Dr Currie, who happened to be the speaker at the missions conference in the same year at Briarwood PCA. He thought it would be a good fit for us to complete Joel’s internship at Briarwood. We were told Briarwood didn’t take pastoral interns who planned to serve overseas, however that year was different because at the Global Missions Conference, giving was so high that they were able to have two pastoral interns, one who served as a regular pastoral intern and one who was placed under the missions department. The Lord opened the door.
There were some big waves between Spring 2022 and March 2024. Waves like getting sick before graduation - during the last finals week Joel and the kids all came down with a terrible stomach bug; Charlie was literally vomiting in my face while I was holding him! I didn’t get sick but just when we thought it was safe to celebrate after everyone recovered, I sprained my ankle. But it wasn’t just that we wanted to celebrate, we had boxes to pack, we had to find a place to live in Birmingham, while Joel was working full time, and here I am with a sprained ankle taking care of three little ones and having to do all that. I’m not going to lie, I was a wreck because there were so many unknowns on top of all the to do’s. However, the Lord was there in the midst but I couldn’t see it. I tried to trust but underneath the surface I wasn’t free, the obstacles appeared bigger than our God. I always knew He could and He is able, but my question was “will He provide for us?”
He sure did, even though He didn’t do it the way I wanted to. He did it in a much better way. Not only our locations changed several times in the past 2 years but our hearts too. Mine particularly. Today I care a lot less about our circumstances and a lot more about the state of my heart.
We started out in a little cottage living next door to our dear lady, Ms Joyce Ann who immediately treated us like her own. Continued with a house in an “American resort town” basically for the price of a half bedroom apartment, where the kids were able to enjoy very nice pools for free all summer long. It was here that we welcomed our forth little one, Liam. And to a place where we are currently in. Which is only 5-10 min from Briarwood and all the people we love. He didn’t let us have a smooth sailing, but He showed us He is God over all the storms.
Fast forward to November 2023, right before Joel’s last ordination exam when he had to show up in person front of the Presbytery, we all got the flu. All 6 of us, including baby Liam, had fevers up to 103. Joel’s fever broke just in time to go to Presbytery. I was able to stay rooted in the word trusting the Lord, but two days after everybody seemed to be on the mend, Charlie’s fever spiked again. Strep throat. Then, Liam’s fever returned. And, at that point we were so poor, and a week away from the next pay check. Still, we had to take the kids in to see a doctor. I remember sitting on the bed physically and spiritually exhausted and Joel asked me “are you still in the fight”, and I heard Dr Reeder’s voice - He often used an example from a war movie about being in a fire fight. In the movie, one soldier says to another “are you hit?” The second soldier says yes and then the first soldier asks the important followup, “are you still in the fight?” Dr Reeder would say in ministry we all get hit - the question is are we still in the fight?
I wanted to say and I think I even said it “no! this is too hard!” I wanted to celebrate Joel passing the last exam but all I could wonder was “how are we going to live? What now?” At that point we were only going to stay employed by Briarwood through December and our move out date was set to the beginning of 2024. Christmas was coming up, we were still poor, and had no plans to celebrate the holiday. Again, I was crushed. I struggled with anxiety, I was trapped, but I wanted to see the Lord’s hand. I wanted to stay in the fight but I couldn’t. So, I reached out to many of my prayer warriors, and people prayed. Help came. I recovered, we recovered. The paycheck came. The Lord delivered. Still in the fight.
Around this time, Bruce Stallings the executive Pastor announced the budget need and encouraged the members who made a Faith Promise (here’s a sermon explaining Faith Promise!) to fulfill it, if the Lord so provided. We had made a commitment back in February that we were going to give $1000. I thought we could have saved that up by May (our original goal). Then one of our cars needed to be fixed for $1000. I thought, “Well, we have our tax return coming in but it’s December and it still hasn’t shown up!” I kept walking out to the mailbox everyday. It was ridiculous! Even Joel said “your faith shouldn’t be in the tax return, maybe the Lord is withholding it from us on purpose.” Ouch. That hurt (he was right). Okay I humbled myself saying, “Lord I really want to give because I trust you.”
It was almost time for us to travel to Texas for the Holidays to be with family potentially one last time before our move to Hungary. And I hear this voice in my heart ‘you have the money’ - yes but that was for traveling, and the gifts. The last Sunday before traveling came, Bruce announced the budget need again. I knew we couldn’t wait until we came back because that would be after the end of the year, the deadline! Do we have to give our holiday money? We can’t wait any longer. So I told Joel that we are going to give and the Lord will provide.
But Joel once again said “Eszti if we give, we can hope that the Lord will provide. But we have to give with a good attitude, even if he won’t provide” Ouch. Once again. I took a deep breath, checked my heart, I said okay. Let’s do it. We did it. After giving, we had $800 dollar left on our bank account. That is about two weeks worth of groceries, gas, and a little extra (enough until the next paycheck). But what about the Holidays? Spending it in Texas ? Being able to buy gifts for the kids, for the family? Oh well - I was so happy that we kept our promise to the Lord. I didn’t even care.
We had been unsuccessfully trying to sell our Xterra - which was no longer running. I remember thinking, “what can I loose if I put it up on Facebook market place?” I listed it according to the market standard - $1200. I kid you not, over a 100 people wrote me in 2 hours that they want to buy it.The messages came so fast that I couldn’t even respond! We sold it and it was taken that afternoon. We packed our bags we were going to Texas, the Lord made it possible and we could even bring gifts. We had a great time with family and friends, which we will treasure for life. Thank You Lord!
We came back on January 5th and reality hit. What now? We had to move out of our current home on March 1st, but we didn’t know where we would go. We also had a trip to Philadelphia first week of February, the Missions conference last week of February. And we have four little ones to care for in the meantime and Joel a work to be at everyday. Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement. What were we to do? Pray, pack our boxes, and, by faith, take one step at a time. We had to look to Jesus, and nowhere else, otherwise we will sink. Scripture rang in my ears.”Seek His Kingdom First everything else will be given to you.”
As we were walking through all this I have been reading a book called Christian in complete armor by William Gurnall. And I was reading about the shield of Faith and I quote
“Skillful swimmers are not afraid to get into water over their heads, whereas young learners feel for the ground and stay close to the bank. Strong faith does not fear when God carries the creature beyond the depth of reason:’Neither know we what to do,’ said Jehoshaphat ,’but our eyes are on upon thee’ (2Chronicles 20:12). It is as if he had said, ‘ We are swallowed up in a sea that is bigger than we are. We have no idea how to get out of this trouble, but our eyes are upon You…. Weak faith that gropes for some footing for reason to stand on tries desperately to reconcile God’s promise and human reasoning.”
“When we trust God for His bare promise we trust Him on His own credit; and this is faith indeed. He who walks without a crutch is stronger than the man who needs one to lean on. The promise is the ground which Faith walks on, but sense and reason are the crutches which weak faith depends on too much.”
We trusted. We moved forward. Then, the tax return came (Finally!)! But we still didn’t know where we were going to live. Then, one day as I was walking in the hallway of Briarwood, I ran into Peggy Townes. She asked me how we were and the conversation ended with her sweet southern voice saying “Stay with us!”. I was so happy. The six of us made it to Philly and back and had an amazing time. But, when we got home it was already time to pack up and move. Joel was swamped with work, unrelated to packing. And then a phone call came. The Clines. Their house was going to be available March 1st, where their daughter lived, 5 minutes from church. After praying about it and seeing the house (even though I was so excited to stay with the Townes) we decided to move into the soon to be vacant house. Seek His Kingdom first and everything else will be given to you. So we did.
Moving week arrived, the same week as the long awaited Global Missions conference and I would like to end with this story.
My goal was to finish packing up the boxes before the conference started and since we were at a fully furnished house, that was doable. Because Joel was so busy and baby Liam didn’t give me a whole lot of free time, packing by myself still felt daunting at times. Fortunately, help showed up at our doorstep almost everyday that I needed it. And I took it happily. But I still wondered how we were actually going to move our things to a new house, and clean the old one (four small children make it challenging to leave something clean even for 30 minutes). Basically two days before moving, on day 3 of the missions conference, I was driving to church, feeling a little bit overwhelmed even though I started to find joy in this time of constant transition and unknown. While driving, a tear ran down on my face as I was secretly still longing for a place where we can call home. I get to church, wipe off the tear and as I walk in a few people kept telling me they saw our cake. ‘What cake?’ I wondered. It was cake competition day where members of the church could bake a cake, dedicating to the missionaries who came to share about their mission ministries. We were in the magazine as “members mobilized” even though we technically we were not part of the missions conference as missionaries. And there were two beautiful cake dedicated to us. And on one of them the Scripture read “Under His wings you will find refuge.” Psalm 91:4 I could not even finish admiring the cake when my eyes filled up with tears, I knew it was the Lord I needed Him to remind me in Him I have a forever home. And top that sweet message off, the cake was white had the city name Györ on it and had beautiful blue butterflies with each of our names on it. You might think well how sweet , but what made it even more Special that Our Wedding Cake , in Györ in Hungary, was white with beautiful blue butterflies, nearly 10 years ago. It was like one of my sweet friends said the Lord is saying “I am here, in the details.”
We have still no idea about our timeline as far as arriving to Hungary. We would like it to be by the summer. But even if it won’t happen, one thing is sure that God’s timing is the best timing. And as long as we are here we will enjoy every moment with our Briarwood family.